Happy Birthday, Donna

Last year at this time we were in Hawaii with the girls, our son-in-law and soon to be son-in-law. It was a fabulous vacation. One of the best ones we have ever taken. Really, and truly.
As is the case with many of us, when I saw the pictures that we took I was less than pleased with my appearance. I have always been a bit critical of me but it just seemed to me that the more years that creeped up on me, the worse I liked the way I looked. Knowing that within the year I would need to fit into an MOB dress, I decided early in the year to DO something. One "last" ditch effort to get a handle on my health.
I found a trainer.
Let me be completely clear. I have HAD trainers before. Several.
So, when I got Donna's name I called and made an appointment. But, I went with reservations. A lot of them.
You see, I have not been too successful in the past few years. As I have aged, it has become harder and harder to shed unwanted pounds.
Really, it's down right, near impossible!!
My goal was small.
Just 5-7 pounds I told her.
Ah, you will lose a lot more than that, she assured me.
I was not a believer.
But, I trusted her.
She quickly gained my confidence with her no nonsense attitude and her "can do" spirit.
She taught me to work hard, to believe in my abilities, to challenge my self, to dig deeper and to push through.
I'm not going to lie to you, it has not been easy.
But it has been so worth it!
So, today on her birthday I say to her...
Thank you, Donna!
For believing in me,
for pushing me,
not taking my excuses,
loving me just the way I am,
working hard along side of me,
praying for me...
yes, especially for praying for me!
You are a true gift from God and I look forward to what God is going to do with us and through us this new year.
Happy, happy birthday friend!
I celebrate you.

I' m still here and still in it for the long haul!

There seems to be something inherently wrong with posting on this site right after posting on my other site about all the baking I have done. Yeah, well, here goes...
I am still here and I am still in the race for the long haul.
My wonderful BD is still working with me and helping me to stay on track.
I seem to have ups and downs...no different than anyone else.
I struggle a lot with this season of my life and the changes that are going on in my body. Some day's I just don't feel well. I am not going to bore you with all the gory details so just let it suffice that I ache, I have a fire that rages inside of me causing waves of heat to radiate through my body at any moment of the day, I wake up at odd hours for no good reason and can't go back to sleep.
The exercise certainly helps. I know it has to help!
And staying close to a diet full of fresh foods and low in processed foods also makes a huge difference.
My goal right now is to stay the course through the holidays. I am not going to do any mayor denying myself of those yummy treats that I so love to indulge in but I am going to moderate my portions and how many days of week I treat myself to something festive to my taste buds.
I am so thankful for my Bull Dog! She is just the most amazing trainer ever.
Yesterday as I was finishing my stretching exercises and ready to begin my workout, she instructed me to do a particular stretched. When I asked her about it she said I needed it because of the pain in my lower back.
How did she know that?
I had not shared that with her.
She informed me that she could tell by the way I was moving.
Yes, she is amazing.
She knows me.
I love her!

Did I really say that?

My good friend came in while I was warming up this morning. She trains with BD, too. I haven’t seen her in awhile and she looked great! Her arms looked so firm and muscular. She had great definition in her upper arms and shoulders! I thought that several times and then, the BD came in. Before I knew it, those words came out of my mouth…OUT loud for the BD to hear.

J your arms look so fit.

What WAS I thinking!

I don’t know what my workout was going to be but I am pretty sure that those words catapulted BD into some kind of power training for upper body strength. The weights were heavier and I was seriously challenged.

So challenged that my keys were a bit heavy; I almost couldn’t put them into the ignition to drive home!

Ok, maybe I might be exaggerating just a little bit but for sure I am going to be sore later on.

But, it felt good.

I love the way she

challenges

encourages

motivates me to push forward to gain more strength.

Dr. Ben Lerner says “It stands to reason that if it took years to build the wrong eating habits, it will likewise take time to permanently change the wrong eating habits in favor of the right ones.”

So, this process is going to take awhile; from building muscle to shedding unwanted fat.

I think I am getting it.

Finally!

The Un-Diet

I have been a bit under the weather this week so I have not been all about blogging. Today is a new day...it's beautiful and I am beginning to feel some better.
Body By God by Dr. Ben Lerner is the book I am currently reading to help me on my quest to get healthy. There is no one way to do this nor is there one book or one expert. I have been on this journey for a long time and have learned a lot from a lot of different sources. The issues that Dr. Lerner brings up in his book make sense and they resonate with my experiences.
He writes about the un-diet.
I like that.
The word diet to me has always signaled restriction and starvation. In fact, that is his first point.
"Diet = Deprevation"
Myth #1!
I have learned the hard way that cutting out "tasty good" from my diet simply means failure. It's important to eat a variety of foods that are tasty and flavorful. It may mean learning to make adjustments in your cooking, but it can be done.
He also says "if you crave, you cave (once you cheat or go off your diet, it's over)"
That's another myth that he dispells.
I have actually learned recently the fallacy of that statement. For two weeks I cut out all refined sugar and white flour from my diet. It was hard. But I did it with the idea that it was temporary and it was for a specific purpose. I had not lost an ounce in over 9 weeks. I was trying to move my body to let go of some of the stored fat. It worked. I lost 3 pounds. This week, I slowly added a bit back into my diet. I haven't crashed or caved. I made cookies today and did not eat any of the dough and just tasted a very small part of a cooled cookie.
One of the biggest breakthroughs for me this year has been to conquer my battle with emotional eating. That has been huge. I am talking HUGE!
Another thing that Dr. Lerner says is that this journey is not a game of perfect. I really like that.
When you think about it, who can follow something perfectly for a day, much less a week or even a life time? The important part is to get started. I have learned when I make mistakes, I just get back in the game!
My goal for next week is to BE in the game with my exercise, planning my meals, cooking and packing my meals to work.
It's going to be a good week!

Monday

I went to see my mommy this past weekend and I decided that I was just going to “be”. No obsessing about what I was going to eat, no packing my own food and taking it with me, no counting calories, no worrying about if I was going to get in my 45 minutes of exercise.

I was just going to be present and enjoy.

And that is exactly what I did!

It felt good.

Today, I am back on board.

So far today I have had 578 calories.

That is with breakfast, snack, and lunch.

I am going out to eat with friends tonight so I may end up going over but today is a good day to do that since I worked out this morning with the BD.

I have decided that I am pretty content with my progress so far. All the no refined sugar and no white processed flour helped me to break that pesky plateau. While I haven’t climbed up on a scale, I am pretty sure I have dropped about 3 pounds.

My new goal is to lose another 5 pounds between now and mid November. Then, I plan to see if I can hold steady during the holidays and re-evaluate what my goals are going to be in January.

Despite the fact that I feel a bit under the weather today…I’m in a good place.

I am staying the course and that is a good thing.

Saturday morning breakfast

Dear BD,
I must confess.
I have thought about it all day.
It was a special Saturday morning because I am visiting my mom. My brother brought breakfast.
It was a relationship...breaking of bread kind of thing.
Donuts and Kaloches.
Yup!
I ate a Kaloche. It had jalapeno cheese. It was tasty.
I also had a bite of a cake donut.
Not the healthy breakfast I strive for but it's all good.
I felt like I have been in a Sabbath rest today.
I'm happy.
See you Monday at 5:30.
Love ya!
~a

Now you’re really messing with me!

I have been working out pretty hard these past few months. On the way, I have developed a bit of a nagging quasi pain in my right knee. It’s not the “oh, dear, I can’t walk cause the pain” kind of pain. It’s more of the “oh, dear, my I feel my knee, and it’s letting me know that it’s there” kind of pain. I definitely don’t want it to work into a full blown “I dear, my knee really hurts and I can’t bear weight on it” kind of pain. So, I am being rather careful.

The BD will ask me compulsively how my knee is feeling. We have cut down the cardio and I am doing at least half of it on the recumbent bicycle. May I just interject here that I do not like the recumbent bike?

I did my cardio last night and this morning, my knee let me know it was there as I climbed the stairs to the gym.

As we walked around the track between weight exercises, the BD said,

You don’t wear heels do you?

Ok, I know where this conversation is going!

Huh, well, sort of.

Then she proceeded to tell me no more heels.

I have given up refined sugar and white flour.

Now, she wants to take my heels?

Are you kidding me!

Seriously, I don’t have enough cute…cute being the operative word….flats or low heel shoes to go with my work clothes. And let’s face it; some outfits just don’t work with flats.

They just don’t.

And that just it!

I don’t know what I am going to do.

New wardrobe and shoes to match??

Sounds like a shopping trip in store for me soon.

So, here is what I am up to this week...

It has been over a week since I cut refined sugar and white flour from my diet. Not going to lie to you…thought I was not going to make it, but I pushed through. I have to say that the first few days were kind of like getting off caffeine. I had a massive headache and felt generally pretty lousy. I’m doing much better now.

Here is the way it is playing out:

On days I work out, I eat about ¼ cup oatmeal before I go to the gym.

When I get back from working out, I eat three egg whites, turkey bacon and a piece of fruit.

There is generally an apple or pear in store for me around 10 a.m.

Lunch consist of about 4 oz of protein…generally grilled chicken although I did have fish yesterday, a green veggie and rice or sweet potato.

Mid afternoon I have about a cup of cottage cheese with tomatoes or fruit.

Dinner is another 4 oz of protein and veggies…a salad is pretty nice, too.

About 8:30, I have 5 or 6 walnut halves.

I’m pretty sure, although I have not confirmed this with my enemy the scale, that I have dropped a few pounds. FINALLY!! It had been nine weeks without losing one single, solitary little ounce. Which would be fine if I had been “pigging out” and laying about on the couch but no, no…I had been working out diligently and watching every single morsel of food that passed between these lips of mine.

So, all is good.

I would have to say that one of the single most important things that has helped me is planning. I can not tell you how important that is for success. It’s really a no brainer.

If you are going to be successful at anything, you must plan for it.

This week I have gone back to two strength training sessions a week with my trainer, one alone..with just me…and all the other folks in the gym and three cardio sessions.

So far, it’s been a good week.

No sugar today

Today was not that easy. I have been pretty hungry this afternoon and have been struggling with a headache. I imagine it is the no sugar that is causing it. As I type this, I would love to have something a little bit sweet to taste in my mouth but I am going to resist.
I kept my calories where they needed to be and feel good about that.
I had a nightmare during the night and woke up about 2 a.m. I could not go back to sleep until almost 4 a.m. so I just cut off my alarm.
Tomorrow...the Bull Dog.
I better be ready!

New Food Plan

For three weeks or so I am on a new food plan. I have looked at a book called Body by God and am following some of the guidelines outlined in that book.

**Here is the plan for workout days

Meal One ( 200)

¼ cup oatmeal

1 tsp. cinnamon

3-4 walnut halves chopped up

Fresh berries (if I have them)

A dab of milk

Meal Two (180 calories)

3 egg whites

2 strips of turkey bacon or Canadian bacon

Meal Three (100)

Fruit

Meal Four (350)

4-5 oz protein

Grain (quinoa, brown rice, Jasmine rise, sweet potato

Green veggie

Meal Five (200)

Small carb

Add a fat here (avocado possible)

Meal six (250)

3-4 oz protein

Veggie

Fat

** On non workout days, I combine the two first meals into one big one. Since I work out at 5:30, I need to eat something before I head for the gym.

The idea with this plan is to cut out all processed foods that contain sugar and white flour. So far today was not so bad. I have wrapped my head around this thing and plan to succeed!

Because sometimes you just gotta have coffee

After the weekend I had, I did not sleep well and was awake before 4 a.m. I reached for my phone to text her that I was not going to show but something stopped me.

I set the phone back down on my bedside table.

I thought of going back to sleep for a few minutes but my eyes were wide open.

Might as well get up and get going.

I choked down my quarter cup of oatmeal with cinnamon and NO sweetener.

Meal one…check.

I made it on time and was warming up when the BD came in. She could tell by looking at me that all was not good in my corner. She sat down next to me.

A tear escaped the corner of my eye as I began to tell her about my weekend. One tear gave way to many, many more.

She listened.

Then, she said it.

Let’s go get coffee.

And in the dark, sitting outside a coffee shop we talked.

We prayed.

We shared our souls.

And

It

Was

Better.

A simple cup of coffee.

A conversation.

Hearts joined in prayer.

Wounds beginning to heal.

Ready for Monday

One of the most critically important aspects of making life changes is the planning. If you don't have a map for where your going, it's near impossible to get there. I would say it's just not likely going to happen!
So, I have my food prepared for next week.
Bring.it.on!

A tail spin

It has been about 2 months since I have lost even an ounce of weight. Before you pass judgment that I have not been true to my diet or exercise, nothing could be further from the truth. I have been doing three a week strength training sessions with my trainer. I have been meticulously careful with my eating and drinking water as well as doing cardio 4-5 times a week. This was my last week to do three a week sessions with my trainer. My goal was to have lost 5 pounds by this coming Sunday.
Stepped on the scales Monday and realized it's not going to happen.
The BD and I are on the same wave length.
She knew when she saw me Monday that my discouragement on not reaching my goal was on my mind. She had thought about it. She had planned what she was going to tell me.
She referred me to a book that she felt might give me some pointers about my diet. I am working my way through it now.
Basically it is all about eating naturally; no processed foods at all.
No sugar.
No white flour.

No processed carbs, like pasta and bread, especially after lunch

Replace carbs between lunch and dinner with green veggies

No soda, tea or coffee. Replace these with plenty of water and vegetable juice.
We talked about this while she worked me out.
I listened.
Later on during the day as I was driving around town, I kept thinking about that darn scale. I kept thinking about how very hard I have worked and I have had no success.
I took a nose dive right into a huge tail spin.
I was passing this little Mexican bakery and before I knew it I had pulled in and was buying some really yummy, crusty bread. You know the kind that is all fresh and soft inside.
All week I have just thrown caution to the wind as far as my diet goes.
On top of that, I had some kind of virus Tuesday and suffered from body aches and intestine problems.
And, let's not forget my hormones have been completely out of whack!
It stinks going through menopause!
It has taken me all week to wrap my head around the fact that if I am going to lose these last 10 pounds, I am going to have to change my diet.
At least for two or three weeks, then I can start re introducing some things back into my diet.
I am not a proponent of being on really, really restrictive diets.
They don't work.
You have to be able to live with your diet.
I realize that I have been eating emotionally this week.
Somehow, the very thought of restricting certain foods made me want to eat them.
Well, after a week of thinking about it, praying about, I think I have just about wrapped my head around what I need to do.
I'm prepared.
Monday.
A new start.
The Bull Dog says so!

Read more: Body by God by Dr. Ben Lerner | Diet Review http://www.dietsinreview.com/diets/Body_by_God/#ixzz0zkJ650IS

Need a "do over" for today

So today, I need a "do over"!
Do not know what happened.
It all started out well with a healthy oatmeal breakfast and I took an energy bar with me to church to snack on before Bible Study. I drank plenty of water this morning.
When we got home from church I fixed a veggie burger and that is what I had for lunch.
Then, things kind of went down hill.
It's like I just could not stop munching on stuff I had around the house.
I had two oatmeal bars that I made last week. OK, maybe they are not that unhealthy but I know I didn't NEED two! Then I got into the Oreo's. Yes, you read that correctly. I ate 5! uggggg!
Next I attacked some cheese and crackers.
The good news is I stopped there.
I drank a big glass of water, brushed my teeth and took a long nap.
The other good news is that I have already packed my lunch for tomorrow. I have my meals planned out through Wednesday.
I have my workouts planned for next week.
It's all good.

The Weekends are Hard

It is really hard to stay on track during the weekends. It's not that I am tempted to eat stuff I don't need but it's hard to keep my schedule and to eat at the three hour intervals that I need to in order to keep my blood sugar at the correct level.
Today I was on the go helping my daughter run some errands, having lunch with a good friend and then going to the big discount mega store.
And, it was HOT.
This would be a great place to say how tired I am of this heat and humidity.
This would be a great place to just whine a bit about how this kind of heat just zaps me of all strength and energy.
By the time I got home mid afternoon, I just wanted to lay down under the ceiling fan with the air turned down very low and cool off.
So, I didn't do any cardio today either.
Just really hard.

Pushing through

I was deep in a dream land when my alarm sounded in my ear. I’m no going to lie to you. I did not want to get up. I lay there and whispered a prayer that God would help me to swing my legs off the side of the bed and make my way toward consciousness. The BD’s words echoed in my ears.

It’s not easy. You have to work for it. You can do it.

With that, I was up.

I stumbled into the kitchen and measured out ¼ cup of oatmeal and popped it in the microwave. It’s not really the most delicious breakfast dining experience but it give me the energy I need for what the BD wants me to do!

And today, she worked me out hard. REALLY hard; but I made it.

Calories for today 1373

Cardio after work was grueling. Mostly because I was tired and felt out of energy. But, I pushed through and made it.

Even when the day is stressful

It’s always better to plan out meals at the beginning of the week. Having to run by the grocery store in the morning before work is stressful. If that is what it takes, it’s better than going hungry, making unfavorable choices or over eating later in the day. I had nothing for snacks, so I dropped in at the local grocery store and picked up an apple and a yogurt.

My food intake for today:

½ cup oatmeal

4 walnut halves

¼ cup fresh raspberries

½ peach

Breakfast= 238

yogurt 170

Talapia

roasted potatos

cabbage

Lunch= 390

2 oz grilled chicken breast 67

Boca burger

Fresh spinach

cantalope

Dinner=198

grande soy latte=170

Grand total for today 1226

It was a difficult day. A lot of pressure and stress at work. A meeting from 11:00- 2:00. Who plans a meeting during lunch?

My eating was all off today and I was starved when I got home. I had about 2 oz of left over grilled chicken in the fridge. I pulled it out and nibbled on it while I was cooking dinner.

I have found that the more I can plan and think ahead, the more successful I am.

The BD asked me to switch up my cardio today. So I did 20 minutes on the elliptical, 20 minutes on the treadmill and 20 minutes on the recumbent bike. I have a heart monitor which registered 398 calories burned.

They all add up!

The BD has asked me to be especially careful about what goes into my mouth this week so that she can evaluate my calorie intake to see where my diet can be tweaked so that I can get past this plateau that I seem to have made my home.

I started the day at 4:30 by stumbling into the kitchen and mixing up ¼ cup of oats, a scant amount of water and cooking this in the microwave for just under a minute. All very scientific, I assure you! Then I squirted about 1 tsp. full of agave nectar, 4 walnut halves chopped, 5 raspberries and a TBS of flax seed. Yummy!!

My workout was an hour of strength training combined with cardio.

Breakfast today was three scrambled egg whites, two corn tortillas and a slice of cantaloupe.

Traveling between a meeting and my office I drank a tall soy latte.

Because I am supposed to eat about every three hours, my next small meal was a carton of fage yogurt. I like the 2% with honey.

Lunch was chicken taco bowl from My Fit Foods today.

Mid afternoon I munched on 2 oz. of grilled chicken, orange wedge, apple wedge, grapes, grapefruit wedge and 3 walnut halves.

I rounded off my eating day with My Fit Food’s chili.

My total calorie intake today is 1195.

Most days I set my phone alarm to remind me when to eat. I get busy and before I know it its noon and I am ravenous. This technique helps me to keep something in my stomach almost all the time so I am never really famished. It works for me.

I usually pack my lunch but because we were out of town this past weekend, my pantry needs restocking so I chose to buy my food out.

There are NO passes

It was HARD to get up this morning. Harder than usual.

Late to bed makes it so difficult to throw my legs over the side of the bed and bring myself to consciousness in order to get to the gym at 5:15. Last night was the Beth Moore bible study at my church and a dear friend encouraged me to go. It has been a long time since I connected with her, so it was really a great opportunity to not only hear great teaching but enjoy sweet fellowship.

The thing I dislike about going to these events is the parking lot. But that is another entry on a different blog…for sure!

The Bull Dog was working out my arms and my sides with 25 pound weights that I was swinging over my head while laying on my back on the bench. Just as I was standing up, a dear friend and the founder of a National Christ-centered weight-loss and healthy-living program was finishing up her cardio for the day. She looked like she was going to cry or pass out. The BD asked her if she was OK.

I need a pass today was her breathless comment.

Unfortunately, there are no passes.

She knows that.

I know that.

But sometimes you just have to say it and move on…push through and just move on!

One of the things that I have learned while on this journey is that the work to get fit is arduous.

It is relentlessly grueling.

And, the benefits are slow in coming.

In the past I have been easily distracted and quick to give up.

Ridiculously quick to give up at times.

Not this time.

Not with the BD.

I’m not going to lie to you. Not only was I tired this morning but I have been struggling with discouragement. I have always had a very difficult relationship with the scale. Frankly, I dislike it immensely. I am, however trying to learn to be at peace with it; sort of co-exist if you will.

I realized when I started writing this blog that I have only lost 16 pounds. It sounds better to say almost 20 but truth is…only 16. I am kind of stuck. I haven’t lost anything in about a month. I pushed myself really hard last week and not a budge.

Thus, the reason for my discouragement and my feeling like I need a pass.

But, I know that I am in this thing for the long haul.

It’s a life change.

Not a temporary fix.

No pass for me.

Just going to push through.

Work hard.

Count my calories.

Do cardio.

Drink water.

And DO.IT.

The Bull Dog

In January my youngest daughter became engaged. It was an exciting time of planning and preparing for that special day. As I thought about what I would wear, I realized that I had gained about 7 pounds since my oldest daughter's wedding a little over a year ago. So I set out to lose 7 pounds.
I hired a trainer to work with me.
We arranged to meet on a Saturday morning.
I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't have very high expectations.
She came highly recommended to me but you see I have lost and gained the same 20 - 30 pounds over the last 30 years and it has become harder and harder to shed those pounds.
I'm 53.
My body has changed in the ways that it holds those extra pounds and the way that it allows me to shed those extra pounds.
My expectations were low.
After talking to her for a few minutes, I remember thinking I may have bitten off more than I can chew!
She's tough.
I call her The Bull Dog.
We talked a lot that first session. She asked a million and one questions and she listened to me.

She.Listened.

At one point it was pretty emotional for me as I thought about making this commitment and being so afraid that I would fail.

I have failed before.

Not this time!

Not with the Bull Dog.

It has been a hard journey. I have lost almost 20 pounds.

Did I mention that it was hard?

Work

Determination

Dedication

Planing

Lot’s of planning

Sweat

Sticking to it!

Yup, all of that these last 8 months.

In the middle of doing some reps with my triceps , the Bull Dog asked me to keep a journal.

So, you are invited to join me on my journey.